Expectancy Violations Theory

The Expectancy Violations Theory that we studied in class last week was something I had never independently thought about, but something that applies to my life more than I realize. Basically, the theory concerns expectations people have about how others are going to communicate with you, be it proxemics, eye contact, touch or an expression on someone's face. Sometimes, expectations you have of how someone will communicate are violated, and the theory aims to point out the problems that can arise when these expectations are violated. The first situation that popped in my head when studying this theory actually happened the day after we discussed the theory in class. My boyfriend took me to his best friends house for lunch, and his friend's mom was there. When she greeted me, she pulled me in close and hugged me and then proceeded to kiss me on the cheek three times. I had expected maybe a handshake or a pat on the back, and when my expectations were violated, I was almost immediately uncomfortable.

However, the second part of the theory that we discussed was the Communicator Reward Valence. This is how we analyze the situation: the positive or negative attributes of the person and that person's potential to reward or punish you. In the case of my friend's mom, her opinion of me matters to her son, so the fact that she seemed to like me was potentially rewarding. Also, I knew she meant well, and she seemed like a nice person, so after my initial discomfort, I saw her greeting as a positive attribute and my discomfort went away. Had I interpreted it differently, I might have declined hanging out at my friend's house in the future because of my discomfort.

I'm kindof looking forward to seeing how the other theories apply!